


Species, Origins

by bliumchik



Category: Good Omens - Neil Gaiman & Terry Pratchett
Genre: Backstory, Gen
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2006-05-20
Updated: 2006-05-20
Packaged: 2017-10-26 08:03:34
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 413
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/280690
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/bliumchik/pseuds/bliumchik
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>A prehistoric chat.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Species, Origins

**Author's Note:**

> a ficlet for anti_christmas 2006

Crowley found Aziraphale sitting on a tree branch, sadly watching a brontosaurus partake of its daily foliage.

“Oh, it’s you.” Said the angel.

“Yeah,” The snake hissed, twining around the tree trunk. “I was bored, thought I’d sssscope out the, you know, enemy’s position.”

“Right,” Aziraphale sighed. “Well, begone foul shade, or something like that.”

There was silence.

“These ones are the next to go.”

Crowley cocked his reptilian head to one side – it was really rather annoying that only the human form was capable of raising eyebrows – and examined his giant bodily relative.

“Well, they do that, you know. Speciesss. It’s your side that came up with the extinction thing. Of coursssse it’s yours. You people do all the creating.”

“I shouldn’t doubt, of course,” the angel sniffed. “It just seems rather pointless to create something just for a few million years and then…”

Crowley again bemoaned the snake’s complete and utter inability to shrug. “Mortality, eh? Who’d want it? Mind you, I’ll be happier when everything’s humansss. There’s really nothing you can tempt a dinosaur into doing. If a T rex eats someone’s baby – well, that’s just what it was made to do, isn’t it? I’m not tempting it, I’m helping it do what Him Above wants.”

Aziraphale frowned. “But maybe it’s the same for humans, too. I mean, ineffability, and all that. Remember the apple?”

Crowley rolled his eyes. It wasn’t quite the same. He sighed sibilantly and curled onto the branch, where he took on his human form. Then he rolled his eyes again and smirked with a feeling of a job well done. He also shrugged and raised an eyebrow, for good measure. Human forms really were the most convenient.

“My dear, do materialize a fig leaf or something.” Aziraphale said, demonstrating his own eyebrow-manipulation skills at the now-human-shaped, and somewhat naked, demon. “I happen to be watching over a village of humans in this area, and they’re still a bit sore about Eden, in my opinion. They might take offense at being reminded.”

“Oh really?” Crowley grinned and sprawled back against the trunk, spreading his legs across the branch. “Perhaps I can get in a little tempting while I’m here?”

“Now, none of that.” The angel replied crossly. “Or I shall be forced to smite you.”

“Go ahead, do your worst,” said the demon perfunctorily.

But neither of them moved. They just sat and watched the doomed dinosaur eat like it hadn’t a care in the world.


End file.
